[Steve_]

Thanks SteveLW,

I 100% agree I have work to do, this will be a process that will take years. I planned on being alone, going through the feels rebuilding my life and so on for at least another 9 months to a year. What happened was far sooner than I expected. But I am glad she is 5 hours away, because I still get to be alone and focus on my kids and purpose 90% of the time. Thus far we have 3 days lined up this month to spend together, other than that Im home with my kids or working and she is in school. Im glad there is no rush and the distance keeps us focusing on communication and not something more physical.

Honestly I know It was too quick and I keep an eye out for red flags and toxic behaviors from both her and I. I gotta be careful, but honestly my GF has been nothing but a blessing. Whether or not she stays in my life long-term I can't say, but I am certainly grateful for her.

I know you dont see those 8 months as me being alone, because I was trying to fix my M. But I lived my entire life alone, on my own, own place, own bills, kids on my own, all of it. Once the EW left she was gone and I left 2 weeks later. I have not spend hardly any time with her in that entire time. Over time I embraced that this would be life now. And decided to push the D forward on my own since I was ready. I was over it, and I wanted to be happier. Could I have waited longer? Absolutely, was it perfect timing for me to meet my now GF? No, not at all. But I didn't want to shut the door on an awesome person because statistics say "you need XXXX amount of time." If I had any intention of taking this thing lightly, rebounding, or just having fun, never would have let her in. I see what you guys are seeing, usually a R this quick after a D is a recipe for disaster and hurt kids. I am keeping that on the forefront of my mind, continuing to read, research, look at long distance R's, watching youtube vids about moving on in healthy ways, parenting alone, parenting with a new partner, etc. I have read more books than I did ever during the end of my M. I still do IC through the VA.

Lately I have finished an IV/Blood withdraw cert for my license,
I've applied at 5 different jobs and have an interview coming up,
repaired the relationship with my mom and sister my EW helped isolate me from and I talk to them daily

now I am just working on maintaining a decent friendship with the Ex and IL's until they move away.

day by day, im doing the best I can, thank you guys so much for all the help.