Today is our 15 year wedding anniversary. It hit me kind of hard yesterday. Hitting hard today. Struggled to get out of bed both days. Not functioning well at work but I have a lot to do.
I did send her a text. I don't care if I should have ignored the day or not. It was for me and it was for her. I'm sure she's struggling to make sense of today too - or maybe not, who knows.
I said that "I am and sad and angry, but I didn't feel right walking by the day without acknowledging it." I said that "she was radiant on that day. And that it was a perfect day, mishaps and all." I said "It breaks my heart, but life moves forward. I do hope you have a blessed day."
I'm trying to process it all. I'm letting myself feel the sadness. I really appreciate whoever it was on here that said it made sense for me to feel sadness since I fought so long and hard to save the marriage. That gave me permission in a weird way to be sad.
Anyhow, I get my kids in the morning and we are headed to Florida Friday through Monday. We're going to hang on the beach, at the pool, and we're doing a jet ski dolphin tour which should be great. I'll be over this day very soon.
And, last weekend I had a great experience. My childhood friend and I went to FL to go fishing with a charter. I caught a tarpon, which was amazing as well as some other big fish. We also spent a day at the beach and had some good laughs and dinners.
The weekend of the 25th my son has a baseball tournament and then for the fourth of July I'm throwing a big party, which is going to be fun. So, I just get through today and then things will get back to my new normal. Just gotta get through this one.
