[Steve_]

I can see the confusion here Cwarrior.

I started talking to my sisters long-time best friend march 19th. Everything for the "d" was done as far as I had known at that time. Minus a filing fee which I refused to pay. I did not meet in person my GF until april 28th. And her and I agreed to date exclusively 5/31.

I went down to the L's office to pay the damn filing fee so XW couldnt hold it over my head april 28th. Before I went to meet her. Couple things that allowed me to be okay with this was that 1). My family has known this girl for years, knows her habits and was part of her daily life. They vouch for her, they like and trust her over the course of those years. 2). She is a person of faith and that is central to our R. There was zero of that with the EW. No moral compass.

I dont date for the sake of getting laid. Its not part of my beliefs, nothing wrong with those who do, just personally I dont like making temporary sexual/romantic connections with people unless they are with a purpose. Id prefer to be alone rather than invite several women into my life for "fun". Some would call me co-dependant but lots of those people have multiple women they date and lie to one another about like Rollo Tomassi says "spinning plates" or CW, etc etc....

For me I was 100% interested in saving my M until I realized that was a bad idea. That it would never change, and even if it did I couldnt forget what was done and how bad it got. The reason my kids got exposed was because of XW. I asked her to watch the children for me so I could go out of town. (first time ever in the 9 months we been seperated). She made assumptions and told my kids "daddy has a girlfriend" to take the guilt off of herself for having a boyfriend since before BD.

I sat down with my kids and asked them what they had heard, asked them how they felt about it, asked them if they were angry or wanted me to wait longer. Both of them told me they want me to be happy and feel I tried everything for their mom. It was sobering really. So due to the kid's mom blasting this issue into my kids life and them being okay with it, I didnt really feel the need to hide it. Especially since I dont plan on dating multiple come and go girls. She got into my life because she has a career, no kids, a strong faith, and is very supportive and actually encourages me to grow as a individual. We have been "official" but only between us, no social media, no posts of any pics nothing like that.

Yes the long-distance thing is rough. But I feel like it is okay because I dont need a woman literally in the middle of my life at this time. And I also belive that if God placed her in my life and this is meant to be then it will be, if not I will learn from it and keep going solo. Im okay with either. I feel alright about this girl since she has been close to my family and is a good person on all 4 corners, not just rose-colored glasses, we talk hard-ball questions, its not a teenage fling.

Maybe not the best time to start an R, her and I both agreed. But one thing we also realized was this. (pardon if you arent religious).

Adam was given Eve by god after he had been on his purpose tending to the garden. He had worked to maintain it and did well, and at some point after being alone God gave Adam his partner Eve. The bible doesnt say how long Adam waited for her, and its good, because if there was a time line I bet a lot of people would take that like literal dating timelines. I still worry that its all too good to be true, and it probably is, but I deserve a partner like this girl has been and who's goals are similar to mine. And so far I have no reason to pass it up (yet).