[Steve_]

Wanted to post an update. I considered how valuable these forums have been and I dont want to just "wing-it" going forward. Still doing IC, and GAL, lots of awesome stuff with my kids, working overtime every week. Doing well. Exercising and so on. Life is good. Helping my buddies through nursing school and lots of fishing, driving RC trucks when I can sneak in a day off. But a couple things have changed which added to my life. (Sorry will be long/ been awhile).

During the process of this divorce about month 7 after EW left I began talking to my sisters best friend on the phone. At first just to chit-chat. Nonsense, stuff about being nurses, just whatever. That went on for another 2 months. Meanwhile I continued to push out the legal stuff for the D, signed it and finalized it. Once I felt like I was done, everything was over legally and I was just going to worry about my kids and a better job thats about when my now GF ended up sort of falling into my life. I waited until all the paperwork was paid off and finished to go to dinner with her (for moral/religious reasons). Anyways, I know it is not recommended by most here, that being alone for 8 months was not quite enough for some of you I just felt open to whatever god had planned for me. I was reluctant especially after all the crap I had gone through but I just sort of allowed things to flow naturally. Never went to bars or got on apps or any of that crap. I planned on being devastated and alone for years. I was not looking for anyone. But here I am and I did not expect to be in this postion. Anyways I wanted to kind of post an update on the post D, Whats going on with me and EW and kids and see if you guys think Im okay or I need to fix stuff. Im open to the commentary and do appreciate it as long as its constructive.

So on the EW front. Essentially I was done waiting on her to fool around with OM or pretend to be single when they "split up" about 90 days after she left me for him, This was in Jan, she was now "single" again and she went on this "dont wanna be with anyone thing" but the entire time over the next bout 4 months she still saw OM here and there and so on. She CANNOT be without some kind of R. (I was surprised she did not try to reconcile, but Im glad she didnt now). So in the end of april before I met my now GF I informed EX that I was completing the D, that I would eat the remaining fee and that I was sick of waiting on her to figure her life out and I wanted to move on and allow someone else to be possible if that works out since she was not interested in fixing the M. (Immidiately upon hearing this she returned to OM..again..lol).

As I told yall I met with my now GF for dinner and everything was great, it is effortless, we talk about anything and anything, she knows the entirety of my sitch, and is up on current events. I left nothing in the closet because I wanted to be up front, if she cannot handle it she can go, point blank and period. GF is very supportive but does worry about how crazy the EW is and it does concern her at times us dealing with her in the future if things work out. I understand that, the EW is nuts and makes terrible choices to be fair. Otherwise we talk daily, we read christian based books and videos about healthy relationships together. Last time she visited me beginning of June she gave me a book from a pastor she follows and had a lot of the things important to her highlighted. She is a great communicator and doesnt sugar-coat what she wants/expects. Its the type of deal where we were really great friends before she visited me a few times and an R just sort of happened due to attraction/compatibility. She does live about 5 hours away and is currently in school (she just moved there) and she has NOT met my kids. Her and I discussed how eventually it would be essential but we both understand that children must be protected from major drastic life changes. My GF is very private, not into social media, we dont post things up of us or anything and we have only been in this R for about a month and she is very slow-paced about it and deliberate as I am. She told me her goal is an M and children, a good nursing career, and she isnt interested in casual dating, she is a devout christian and those are all things I've wanted myself as well. My kids know about her, know her name, and want to meet her but I wont allow it. (Ive only known her about 90 days) not long enough. My EW knows about her and seems really happy for me and supportive, my ex-IL's know as well and are really happy for me, my friends and family and everyone is really behind me. It was her birthday today and I have to work but I will travel to see her next week, my children made her birthday cards, my EW even offered to let me use her car since it is a lot more reliable for the long-distance drive (i declined of course) but it was nice.

The EW has now broken up with OM again, in lieu of a new OM, this guy is no BS a celebrity from hollywood, he is a producer and rapper of european style music. He is in his 40's and has a couple kids, has been D'd before. I found out about this guy because he bought my son a playstation 5 and offered the EW a new car, tried to gift things to me which I declined, but he did have EW call me and face-timed me, he was pleasant, and very interested to meet me. He highly seeks my approval I can tell. I could not believe it when this happened as I have heard the guy's music before and i was like.... wtf... has my life become reality TV? Anyways, this new OM has met the family, my kids, even me all in the span of two weeks....... I talked to my GF about how insane that is, she agrees. Her and I have gone 3 months without even planning a meet anyone and they just fired it off like willy nilly. How insane my EW is with just not planning her life, not considering the future and not even realizing how volitile this all is.

I did attempt to talk to her in a friendly way about it. She was receptive, I told her to be really careful with this guy, because people like that have a flavor of the month, and I really dont think it would be appropriate to have him around the kids before she understands if this is a healthy long-term kind of thing. She said "I am being careful" but literally had him over with her and the kids at the IL's place where they live. Sure he seems like a nice guy, but I know all about "nice guys" and this dude has a bugatti... this could get real ugly real quick.. I trust nothing about this. I have begun documenting all this for court purposes in case it goes sideways. I included the parts about the OM. I cross my fingers and hope for the best and I do truly hope my EW is happy and in a good R with this guy but its doubful based on her track record...

I was invited to fathers day dinner at the IL's house, my EW and I are nothing more than friends, she will occasionally call to ask how Im doing, offer to pick up little things if i need them, the H/W issues are pretty much dead. So with her things are cool, she even got my GF a gift to give to her and told me that she hopes to be friends some day. The GF said yeah "maybe in the very distant future when she gets healthy"..

For now Ill go to the dinner with the family, her new OM will be there, itll be good to get to know who is around my kids (even though I got no choice) i figured if he is willing to be friendly ill keep my friends close and enemies closer kinda deal. I trust no-one with my children not even thier own mother.

For now im not planning on doing anything drastic, just taking life day by day, focusing on myself, my kids, working on that NGS, and reading books about healthy R's. Exercising, looking at getting a better job, applied a few places. Doing the best I can to just keep my head up and try to remain happy with as much crazy as everyone else can be.