Scott, my personal opinion is that you were not abusive based on what you've described here, and your wife is throwing that around to justify her leaving you. Typical rewriting of history. Giving someone the silent treatment, having an attitude or being passive/aggressive is not abuse, it's just one person being a jerk. How the other person interprets that is up to them, but they're not being abused by it. Actual verbal/ emotional abuse would be belittling someone, such as telling them they are stupid or ugly or fat or worthless. I seriously doubt you ever did any of those things.
AS: I probably lean towards your take here. Contempt was something I was very aware of and avoided. My STBX has some things going on. There is a history of mental illness in the family. From my view she doesn't seem to be doing any better on her own. I know she claimed that she was being harassed at her new job and had to change roles because of it. She just looks for people to blame and accepts little responsibility herself.
When I have more time I'll tell you all about my weekend and this coming weekend as well. Its good stuff.
