Great news, Eagle! I hope things continue to move forward for you. I admire the way you were able to choose words for you and find gratitude in that email. It’s making me realize I don’t think I could do that. I can imagine being grateful for the good times we had but not sharing that with my H, because all of those “good” times to him are colored by his lens and his resentments—any caring we did for each other is now me never doing enough and him doing everything at his expense, to his detriment. My challenge, I suppose, is to write that kind of letter to myself and not let his current view rewrite what I experienced, which sometimes feels false in the face of his beliefs. His perspective is valid, but is it true? I struggle there. (Here again I remind myself that living with him still makes it harder for me to see through his fog.)
But your friend’s words are beautiful and ring true to me, and your words are inspiring too. You are not letting go of your history, it seems, or trying to rewrite it, or even fighting against his rewriting; you are simply acknowledging it. Taking a moment to appreciate it.
