no one here outside the poster KNOWS the WS. You cannot diagnosis my WS as narcissistic no more than any other condition because again... you are only being given a small picture from a hurting person. I think LESS WS bashing might bring this board back to life. Helping to understand what causes marital strife and the responsibilities of each party might be more therapeutic than trashing the WS constantly.
Originally Posted by LH
Case and point "new Steve's'" W had I think 7 affairs. I can't in good conscious give him advice to take his w back.
Your husband not only cheated on you he physically and emotionally abused you. That changes my advice on things.
I hear you, KitCat. We aren't qualified to diagnose if Steve'x STBXW or your STBXH have mental illnesses. We aren't qualified to assess their value as humans. I'll get personal. My XGF has competed in international sports, taught at Harvard, solo parented, donated to charities, and made scientific advances. The world is better with her in it. However, that she's verbally abusive makes her a terrible partner. Steve's STBXW is a serial cheater and so a terrible partner. Your STBXH is an abusive cheater and so a terrible partner. Whatever faults you, Steve, or I have--each of us have enough to warranty therapy--may have justified leaving us. It doesn't justify abuse or serial cheating. That's on them and speaks to character flaws making them poor choices for partners. Maybe, years from now, your STBXH upon cheating on or abusing his current partner and finding himself single again will tell you he completed an anger management program and deeply regrets cheating on you. Maybe he can articulate what changed beyond losing his Plan A and wanting his Plan B. That may change things, or maybe you'll have moved on or be with a good partner by then.
