I think there needs to be more focus on inclusivity... because frankly there are things touted on this board that are not in line with MWD principles. MWD tends to focus on small steps and small goals and positives where sometimes on this board you are being cut down by someone else's personal opinion.
I did want to address this. I think the problem you felt in your thread was you saw small steps and small goals when maybe there weren't any? For instance, you would hyper-focus on "He was nice to me on the phone!" and ignore that he had moved in with OW. Or "he came over to work on X" but ignore that after he fixed X he left to go home to be with OW. So maybe, and I am not saying I am right and you are wrong, that you were thinking something was a small step, goal or positive, when in reality it wasn't. Being disconnected from truth is a defense mechanism that we all have. Some more than others.
I was NOT referring to myself OR my thread.
I was referring to the board overall over the last several months. And, I think pouring more personal opinion/convictions over the basic principles of the board poured over too many... and caused people to leave or just overall post less.
There was sooo much put out there about never taking a cheater back and then fine lines drawn over a cheater being PA not so much EA.
^^^^ That is NOT MWD principle and is not even remotely in the book...
Affairs are a symptom of the issues at hand and not so much the primary problem. So digging deeper... what makes a person leave their relationship? Not feeling liked, not feeling loved or not feeling respected... perhaps all 3.
Most people here on this board are dealing with a M crisis is dealing with EA/PA. Those M's are recoverable. They are not a lost cause and the WS does not need thrown under the bus ---- no one here outside the poster KNOWS the WS. You cannot diagnosis my WS as narcissistic no more than any other condition because again... you are only being given a small picture from a hurting person.
Guiding someone to GAL is fine and fantastic!!! IT is MWD principle. It can be alternatively said that the focus must come off the WS and the M... that in itself is a very difficult process to go through but can be done.
MWD states specifically look at cheeseless tunnels... and stop doing those behaviors. To set goals.. small obtainable ones and to mark your positive progress. If you are not making progress go back to cheeselss tunnels and start again. NOTHING states never taking back a cheater...
I think LESS WS bashing might bring this board back to life. Helping to understand what causes marital strife and the responsibilities of each party might be more therapeutic than trashing the WS constantly.
This is just my opinon. But, you can literally see this board is nearly dead. Unless some changes are made it may not come back to life. Which is unfortunate because there are a lot of great things here!
