I wasn't necessarily referring to my thread or just myself... its an overall impression of where the board's direction has been in the previous several months.
Every board will have outliers for sure.
But there are many here who want to put their personal convictions upon you. I'm not looking to single anyone out but lets say there is someone who says... never take a cheater back... YET most of us here are experiencing some form of that... then they like to draw lines in the sand... well never take a PA back... yet, then many a point can be made that often times EA's can be more damaging than PA's. So their advice is heavily handed with their own personal convictions which may not be yours.
Sure --- I was under a great deal of gas lighting... and it took some time for me to get past that.
Yes, I very much needed to take the focus off of my H and put it back on myself.
But, to be given advice that my H is a cheater and how dumb to even want to improve that situation and made to feel bad because I did is NOT the undertone of the principles of this board at all.
I wasn't trying to imply that I'm leaving the board but making a general overview of what I have witnessed and why this board has lost a lot of steam.
IDK what would have made my situation better. Here I am 16months out and he still makes some kind of contact every 9 days. I probably might have been better served a year ago to stop contact but there were still several business items that needed to be addressed. I'm 100% certain had I cut all contact I would be D right now. I'm certain that the way I handled things has bought myself time... 16mo I'm still not D. That's more time for him to figure out that his current lifestyle is the bomb or maybe not so much.
Hard to say... maybe my D is final by the end of July??? Or maybe not...
What I can say with 100% certainly is that he doesn't hate me. If I had an emergency and needed to contact him - he would answer ---- now please know I'm not contacting him unless its a business matter so really I'm not contacting him at all.
I know the random texts/pics he sent when on vacation with her... were breadcrumbs... so I made sure to send them right back! What I can say with 100% certainty is that both times he was on a wonderful vacation with HER... he was contacting me because he was thinking about me.
I have accepted where he is at right now.
I'm also staying busy learning a new instrument... hitting outside music venues... meeting new people... hiking more... getting to the pool as much as I can...
