As for the activity on this board... I feel the decline is really due to the amount of negativity in general. I'm not pointing any fingers to anyone... its a very broad generalization.
More than once someone has felt personally attacked and decided to leave.
I think its important to realize that there is more than one way to slice an apple. Negative thoughts beget negative actions... I think that if you feel to focus on more positives... things tend to positively improve. Mindset is soooo important when going through a major trauma.
I think there needs to be more focus on inclusivity... because frankly there are things touted on this board that are not in line with MWD principles. MWD tends to focus on small steps and small goals and positives where sometimes on this board you are being cut down by someone else's personal opinion.
There are other boards out there - some better... some worse... but I think the ones with most success tend to help someone focus on positives... and taking small wins.
Again - this is just my opinion.
Dear KitCat,
I wanted to reply to your message without side-tracking Steve's thread.
First, I hope my posts to you have always felt more positive than negative--I believe you're a kind person most of the time and I wish for your happiness. If that wasn't clear before, I hope that's clear now.
Second, I hear you that we have a mix of members--some are blunter, some are more diplomatic, some are quicker to correct, some are quicker to empathize. Each subforum here has a radically different mix of regulars. I'd love to see you stick around and try a non-newcomers subforum if this mix isn't working for you.
Third, when a forum member seems off-course compared to the DB/MWD advice, I imagine it feels like a huge pile of 2x4s. Let's get to a specific. When your STBXH first moved away from you and in with OW, nearly everyone felt the best move to R was to go dark and remove yourself as plan B. The baby steps you were doing--"I went 1 day NC!" then "I went 2 days NC!" seemed more likely to help him ween himself off of you. What would have made you more successful, or what would have made you feel more supported, in terms of forum responses?
