I've gone through my own version of "how many court dates is this?" in the past year. I'm sure the constant shots about parenting hurt, but keep in mind this is par for the course in family court. This may or may not be the case with your situation, but I felt like at some point I was in a legal vortex where it was almost impossible to pull out of the tailspin. Lawyers don't necessarily help, and I felt this was never going to end. It still might not. I encourage you to at least think about what you would accept as a settlement (accounting for how much it would save you in financial and emotional cost), and then see if there's a way to steer things that way. Of course you can't control whether your STBX will even consider such a thing.
Nobody is "right" about you. I gave my X the power to tell me all my problems and I believed she was more right than me. That's BS. Nobody is a perfect parent. Everyone has things they struggle with. I agree it's not easy and I've had my own up and downs. You aren't alone in going through this process. Consider how lucky you are to be free from your STBXH -- it's not easy, but it's a new lease on life when you realize you have escaped spending the rest of your life with someone willing to do what they have done.
