Why is the "friend" bit so perplexing? He wants to tell you the meaningful parts of his week, but they involve her, and if he said "fiance" or "my love" he probably worries you'd be hurt and talk to him less. Heck, years ago when I remember 1st dates asking "Why do you look so sunburned?" then "Who did you go with?" I sometimes said "an acquaintance." They always took the hint and I didn't have to clarify I was on another date. You both know who "the friend" is. Since you're the one who feels awkward, the onus is on you to change this dynamic. As you continue forming this friendship, if you don't want to talk about her, set that boundary. If you're okay with it, strip away the charade to show him you're comfortable. If he says, "My friend and I had a good time moving this week", say "I'm glad you and Betty had a good time moving this week." You just need to find what works for you. Maybe you find "friend" easier to process than either alternative and he's read you right. If that's the case, keep on keeping on. Detaching is a process. (:
That's just it - I have called him out more than once. He goes above and beyond to continue the charade. I finally got to the point I literally said "I'm not sure I understand why you need to lie to me but I accept the fact that you feel that you do" I could literally say your taking X or it was X and her daughter and her other daughter lives with you... and he would literally still deny deny deny deny.
I don't waste any energy any more. I accept whatever his need to lie to me is and move forward.
During the truck ride he was giving his opinion when I mentioned downsizing. I mentioned selling high and waiting for the market to soften before buying and he was giving me all kinds of advice. Telling me to wait and hold my equity and get the lakehouse I wanted when I retire... that was OUR dream when we first got married... its not necessarily my dream but I kept my mouth closed and just let him rant.
After his text Friday at 6am he again offerred tons of advice that I did not ask for. He said "you will hate commuting from X town"... "you should look here"... I didn't respond to any of that. I was not asking for his help or his opinion.
