Scott, my personal opinion is that you were not abusive based on what you've described here, and your wife is throwing that around to justify her leaving you. Typical rewriting of history. Giving someone the silent treatment, having an attitude or being passive/aggressive is not abuse, it's just one person being a jerk. How the other person interprets that is up to them, but they're not being abused by it. Actual verbal/ emotional abuse would be belittling someone, such as telling them they are stupid or ugly or fat or worthless. I seriously doubt you ever did any of those things.
I definitely agree with Steve that the word "abuse" is thrown around too much these days, it's a trigger word that people use to elicit an emotional response and sympathy for their position. If your wife tells people she was abused, they have NO CHOICE but to offer her sympathy and comfort because in this day and age doing anything else instantly brands you as a terrible person. Your only option in defending yourself is to take the high moral road. Show people through your actions that you're a person of integrity. Let them see who you really are.
