WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont8.)

[SteveLW]

Life is off the charts busy, and not in a good way. I've been on the run since Thursday night.
Work dinner, led to an early breakfast, which led to five insanely busy days with the kids. Its good stuff but I've had no time for myself, I've missed a couple of workouts, struggling to find time to mow the lawn, get to the grocery, and get the sleep I want.

Being busy is good! Even if not the "good" busy. Though not getting enough sleep isn't good! You can do that for short periods of time but eventually you have to find time to catch up.

Today I asked my parents for help so they're running the kids to the two camps they have so I can work. This summer I'm taking half days on the Monday's I have the kids and the 5 fridays I have them I'm just taking those off.

LOVE THIS!! Do not be afraid to rely on your support system.

This weekend I'm heading to FL to go fishing with my best friend.

Awesome! AWESOME! AWESOME! This makes all the "busy" worth it.

And then the following weekend my son had a baseball tournament get canceled so I asked them if they would like to go to Naples and hang on the beach and they were all for it - so I'll be heading back there soon after. Hopefully I can find time to relax on those trips or this next week - I'm running myself into the ground a bit.

More awesome!

Camps will be done this week and so will soccer tryouts for next year; baseball is winding down as well. And then in July the kids will be gone for two weeks so its going to go from being crazy to really quiet, which will be a different kind of hard.

Really quiet ain't bad. I really enjoy my really quiet time even though it is rare. I am an ambivert, so there are times when my introvert side takes over!

I continue to hear this and that from my brother in law. My ex is telling her family how abusive I was emotionally, which is freaking insanely absurd and hurts - but I need to focus on the things I can control, and she isn't one of them. Also, I'll rarely see those people - I just hope this doesn't trickle down to my kids and it wouldn't surprise me at all if her mom said something when they are around on purpose. Again, out of my control.

Your kids will know, if not now in the future, the difference between words (accusations) and actions (how they see you conduct yourself). This is why as father it is important to NOT give the other side ammo. This is one of the smaller reasons, but a reason none the less, that I advocate for LBSs NOT dating until the D is final. The WAS will use ANY excuse they can in order to justify their actions. Lots of LBSs have been burnt by dating before the D was final, having their WAS say to the kids "your date met someone new that is why we split" and the LBS was stuck holding the bag because the words (accusation) matched the actions (dating before the D was final).

But I like your attitude here, you cannot control her. Or her narrative. She is going to feel like a complete flake for what she did and she will try to deflect that flakiness to you. Your job is to show your kids that who their mother says you are IS NOT you. Not through words, but through being the best father and person that you can be!

You got this Scott! Your kids will know the real you is not the you she says you are.