Hello Piecing Friends, This is my new thread to reflect that after six weeks of visiting, my W has announced her intent to return back to our home. She has returned to Florida to pick-up the cats and her items. She originally was in town for a visit, but something happened to change her mind.
Here are some basics of my situation: Married 10 years, separated 7 months, piecing 1 month. W 44 me 44. 0 children, 2 cats.
She has become interested in starting various home improvement projects--decorating the bathroom, painting the master bedroom, and others. She always was the leader in such projects, and welcome her retaking that role.
Our conversations have been mostly cordial and light, with some tentative entry into aspects of the separation, such as the financial agreement. I'm not going to push too hard for her to sign the agreement at this time. I think it would be adverse to creating a fertile ground for the relationship to recover.
I think it's important for her to continue with a respite from working for now. I can manage the household expenses with my salary. I want her to work because she wants to, to the extent she is able to, and to choose something that is enjoyable.
The sex issue will need to be addressed at some point. I think we should try initially to resolve it on our own, versus going to a therapist. It will be important to have realistic expectations about the quality of sex, as we try to develop compatability.
The Florida issue shouldn't be too difficult to negotiate. The problem is her difficulty in tolerating the temperature during the Ohio winter months. I would propose that she move to Florida for 4-8 weeks during the winter. She was living in Florida rather inexpensively, by sharing a house, renting a bedroom, and sharing expenses. It doesn't make sense to uproot our lives, sell a house we enjoy and is a good investment, move away from our families, for a problem that occurs 25% of the year. She needs to compromise also.
It's possible she can change her mind, once she's in Florida, and stay again. We'll see. I'm expecting for now the opportunity to try again at working-thru our problems.
Concerned_Listener
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
