This house and property was special. But it also represents the collapse of my marriage. So yes, sadness, but also a lot of mixed feelings beyond that. Just trying to move forward and let it go.
Today was a strange day in regards to H. I am sure it’s just guilt but still... This morning he brought me coffee in bed, which he’s not done in months. And that was always something I appreciated. Then, this afternoon he ran to the store and got flowers for me. My favorite kind. He helped me again with moving today as well. All while I’m hearing from my L about things moving forward. It all is just so surreal. My best friend thinks I’m crazy for even being civil towards him, but I don’t have the energy to be anything but. He told me today he appreciated me for the same. I didn’t get into anything but I said it doesn’t mean I’m not hurt by all that has happened. He acknowledged that he knew that.
I also am spending the night in my new place. Wasn’t planned that way, but maybe just as well...otherwise I would have been all emotional when I got up this morning. Such an exhausting time moving along with everything else happening this week and next. I also realize how many of my relationships have been impacted by my marriage. And right now I feel very alone. I really hope to change that in my future. Another friend is moving back to Seattle and I’m looking forward to spending time with her in the future.
As for the the job situation, I am still pushing for a full-time salaried position. Fingers crossed it happens, as I love the company I am freelancing with, but if it doesn’t work out I do know I have other options.
Xo friends.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
