Thank you! I am going to take all of the steps you have mentioned.
I also, am (I know, i am late) realizing what a jerk he is being. I could handle how he is ambivalent towards me, but to be so rude to our daughter is making me realize a boundary that I had not seen. I know she's older and this affects her differently than a small child, but WOW what an A**! Today is her birthday and he has not even told her HBD.
It hurts me in a different way then him wanting a D has.
If anyone is reading this and has not gotten into IC, please do. This board helps, but a therapy appointment that focuses only on you is the best money you can treat yourself with IMO.
