I don't think there is anything that I could have done differently to produce another result. If I'd done things differently, maybe the timing or the details would have changed a bit, but not the final result. The final moment to turn things around disappeared long before I understood what was happening and, almost certainly, even before my STBXW met OM. In fifteen months, my STBXW has never looked back. And while my path to a D has been slow moving, that's more about her desire to maintain control over me than anything else. Her desire to control my life is not a reflection of her desire to reconcile. As far as I know, her new life with OM is going great and she's still dreaming of her happily ever after. But I wouldn't know. I don't discuss her life with anyone. However, absence has not made her heart grow fonder. If anything, she's angrier with me now than she was at the start.
For me, the process and the board's advice has been amazing. Of course, I'm not thrilled with the circumstances, but I tried to embrace the books and the process from the beginning. The GAL and the 180s have been wonderful. I'm enjoying my life a lot more and am very pleased with the personal growth that I've found. I'm eager to keep things up and to see where I'm going to be in another year's time. I'm also healthier and stronger than I've been in a long time. Detachment has allowed me to understand the destructive patterns that our relationship had fallen into and to understand how I need to do things differently if I ever find myself in another relationship. And everything comes from just taking everyone's advice and having faith in that advice. Personally, I didn't have any clue how to handle my sitch, so I just went along with the books and the board. That's made all the difference and I wouldn't be where I am withouut all of you.
Her obsession with who I am dating and trying to sabotage that continues unabated. My children constantly pop by unannounced and a day rarely goes by they don't come racing into the house for something they "forgot." I do love the unexpected visits and since I'm not actually dating, I haven't complained about it.
