I know it feels like we are hammering away at you, Steve.
I have been in your exact same situation before and defended myself as well. I was 100% convinced this new woman was perfect and I paid the price for it when things ended.
Broken attracts broken, it just does. It's uncanny how it happens and its a subconscious thing that we aren't even aware is happening.
Because this woman is attracted to you, tells me she has some underlying issues. Not because you are a bad guy, but because she knows your story and remains attracted to you.
Think of it this way. A healthy woman would see your situation and think to herself "this man is nowhere near ready to date. He's been through the ringer with his ex for years, I think I'll hold off from seeing him until he has had some time to process the end of his marriage and his codependency". And no, 8 months is not enough time to process the end of a 10 year long narc/codependent marriage.
Again, I know you will do what you will so my best advice is to go super slow motion with this girl.
