Separated but holding on for reconciliation (2)

[BL42]

JoeDredd,

Her original plan was to do a court order, which involves us sorting things out ourselves, getting a lawyer each to review it and then the court approves it. It's the cheapest way to do things. She told me she doesn't have time for that, she's going to go through a lawyer. W said we could share the lawyer and do it together, or I could get my own. W is giving me a few days to decide.

Forget whatever she said originally, it doesn't matter. If she's getting a lawyer you should get your own. DO NOT on what her lawyers say - it is an adversarial process - and they WILL trump up their argument to scare and bully you if you don't have your own. I felt strong after reading my lawyer's responses to my wife and couldn't help but feeling a bit riled up / shaken after reading her L's responses. Get your own lawyer to be the buffer and advise you what's legal vs. what is complete BS.

W went interstate with an old friend who was promoting her self-help book at a conference. The book is all about how she escaped her first marriage, which she says was full of emotional abuse, gaslighting, silent treatment, anger, etc. Last year W told her father "I'm only just coming to terms with what really went on in our marriage". I didn't know what that meant but I guess it comes out of this. I would never have thought any of that stuff went on, just disagreements and frustration and differing views.

She literally wrote a book? Wow, that's hurtful. Sorry.