[Steve_]

I appreciate all the feedback!

I agreed to paint the room because of the reasons I stated for my daughter but also because they still live with the in-laws. Had it been like the ex's new place or somewhere with an OM there is no way in hell I would have agreed. I know I have work to do to detatch, things are much much better but I still sometimes get a little washed over with sadness. And the sadness is mainly the loss of the nuclear family I wanted all these years, a little worry about what kind of OM will eventually replace me and how the children will get along with the things their mother does. She has been working a lot more and gave up on the extra curricular stuff for extra cash which I applauded her for and supported her working more at her actual job.

I do not have regret, and I am so thankful to god and to many of you for that. I felt like I really did a good job hanging in there for a long enough time, really giving it my best shot before taking a knee and I knew I needed to do that before moving forward. Especially so if the ex decides to try some attempt to recon later, I can feel good about the 1,000 chances shes blown and keep moving forward knowing she had her shot and no looking back on coulda, woulda, shoulda.


I asked her if she would be able to watch the children for me or help me find coverage for a weekend coming up, just 2 of the nights I would have the children. (I have not in the 8 months of separation asked her for any child care favor, but Ive done plenty). The times I have hung out with my work buddies I did it at my place with the kids around or I did go to a bar/restraunt with them a couple times but on a friday night after work. I always took up 100% of the time I got with the kids and worked my leisure around that. She agreed to watch them for my two nights and one day and she asked if it was because I was "taking my girl out" and I was just kinda caught off guard with that question.. but I answered "maybe" she said "make sure you take her somewhere nice, dont be a cheapskate, but not too expensive" and I was a bit baffled. Then she said "thanks for all the work you did at mom's house, I appreciate it, and If you need anything let me know"

Again im sure there is several layers of nonsense there but face-value seemed nice. The sunday all day before my friend arrives in town for the evening I will take my kids to the trampoline park and let them run wild, do some arcade games, just go ham. Im gonna also take them swimming in the morning, the apartment complex I stay in has 3 different pools and the kids absolutely love swimming so Ill take some advantage of that for sure. Plus I need to tan badly, I am the epitome of white after so much covid lockdown.

If the ex asks for any kind of favors or unneccesary interaction i will respond with "maybe, let me see" and then post it here. I do feel like I was definately taken advantage of on the painting and house work and I didnt like the way that felt, but I did it anyhow, for future things I will come here before giving her an answer.

On other news my 3 work buddies I have been helping study all got over 96% on their first nursing school mid-terms so that was great! Im proud of the three of those weirdos. I have been trying to focus on getting some more income going to have more options for leisure time for myself and my kiddos. That and the upcoming school work and IV therapy certification course. I know I have a ways to go but thus far I just take it day by day with slow deliberate steps and trust in god to show me the way forward. This is all I can really do.