WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont8.)

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ScottB,

I received the division of assets from her team and it was only off of my expectation by $100k. The support figure was spot on what I expected. I still do not feel good about the overall situation but getting the numbers a bit tighter is good.

Sounds like we're in a very similar stage in the process. I found myself over-analyzing the financials and being anxious at the outcome, so getting the details on paper and finalized has relieved some of that stress and distraction. Hopefully you can lock in a favorable outcome an not have to worry about that aspect any more.

Change the way you interact with women. Commit to not arguing. Show women in your life that you are in control of your emotions and that you can handle every emotion they throw at you. When I find myself starting to argue with my woman, I intentionally stop. We are both being controlled by our emotions. I switch to listening and validation. Arguing means both people are not listening. I decided to be just the listener. I can share my thoughts with her later when we are both calm. Listen to her to understand her. She will calm down when you are listening. She will calm down after a period of time. Same thing with my kids.

Interesting perspective. I've read a lot about validation and am trying to practice it with my friends and family. I started a program for separated / divorced individuals and hearing them complain about their exs and the exchanges of blame they've had, it made me think of this forum and validation - let them know you are listening and recognize their opinion but don't necessarily apologize or agree with it, and avoid "battling" and engaging in arguments or drama.