Still putting one foot in front of the other...

[Elbereth]

Thanks May. I am working hard to grow, expand and be open to my future. I have my moments! And I know I will have to work very hard on the fear and trusts issues I will have (as discussed on your thread). But I have hope. I am sad and disappointed in the way my marriage and that time has turned out. But I know I did a lot to try to make it good. I tried to be a good wife and step mom. I tried hard, but I also realize that I didn't have the partner that I needed. I love him deeply and a part of me always will. But I have to move forward for me.

Anyway, a family member is planning to tear down a home they have, and build a dream home on the property. It's nearby and has amazing views, but it's pretty run down and we are hoping the deck won't fail or the furnace won't give out while I live there. Ha! I will not have full use of the house, but I can use a few rooms, the garage for storage, etc. Just enough time to figure out my next steps. My city is getting very expensive, so once the house is sold, I do not feel I can afford to buy again. At least not now. Also, as a freelancer, that also affects my chances...

I've been working as a freelancer for a long time, but generally with only a couple of clients. One of them I love and it's the company my H was managing....but now he's resigned. They were purchased by another company and that company, and another one they have do not have the department I'm in, so they may create one department to manage all three companies. Or they may bring me on with my current company. I really do not know and nothing is solid. I'm just being hopeful. It would be great to get the opportunity to have something more secure during this time in my life.

SS20 seems to be okay so far, but I do worry. We are hopeful that he won't get too sick or have any long lasting effects. It's hard as he is in another city and I can't take care of him. But he is also becoming an adult and I need to help him be that for himself too.

El