My H has accepted a new job and is moving to another state within a month. All while I am moving out and we are moving forward on the D process and selling our home. I'll be moving to my temporary home over the next couple of weeks. SS18 is planning to attend college in a town nearby, and I will have a place for him with me if he wants to be until the fall when he leaves. H has had very little time to S18. He's a sensitive boy and I know he is trying to be supportive of his dad, but I sense that he struggles with the situation. All while we just found out SS20 has Covid. He is sick but still in flu like level. So now I am worried about him, and H is consumed with his own life.
I have been served the D papers and H got a lawyer as well. I am being amicable but told H I will not help him with the process. My financial course ended and I am trying to find someone to help me with financial strategy for the the D who understands my states rules. I plan to ensure I get my max equitable split of the assets, while being as nice as I can be through the process. Fingers crossed it doesn't get ugly. I don't need the stress.
Job-wise, I am a freelancer but have been working with a company for years. This company was purchased by another and the parent company has expressed interest in hiring me full time. This would be great to provide me health coverage and more reliable income. Fingers crossed this happens. However, H said he will keep me on his health insurance as long as I need to be...but I don't want to trust anything he says. It could involve me also moving to another state...that part is unclear at the moment, but will consider it if it comes up.
Things have been light between us while we've still been under the same roof. I think this is good since the next month is going to be super busy with moving out, house upgrades, and putting it on the market, not to mention the D moving forward. So being light and happy is where I need to be emotionally. So I'm doing everything to keep it that way. I think H thinks this means we will be friends in the future, but when that time comes, I will just pull away as I see fit. I do want to remain as amicable as I can be with him for the kids sake, but I have no desire to be friends with this person after the D. This person he has become (or always was) is not someone I need as a friend in my life.
It's sad that our home, a fixer upper, will get some of the nice cosmetic things done that not getting done contributed to the demise of our relationship. H insisted on doing so much ourselves and hated it and now he is running from the projects. Now, for less $$ than he thought, all that work will be done, and done for the next family that lives here, by other people. Makes me sad and a bit angry, but maybe this is the way it is supposed to go. The market is hot and we hopefully will make a lot of money on the house.
Feeling very overwhelmed and struggling with balancing everything, but excited to get into my new place and get it over with at the same time. Then I feel I will have more time to really focus on me and my growing and healing.
Seeing Sunshine Again
Literally there was sun and warmth today but figuratively I'm seeing the light.
It feels so good... to know I don't have to put up with any of his lies or mistreatment ever again.
I'm free to be me... just me... not some made up version I've twisted myself into to make him happy.
-@thenewwife.lessonslearned
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
