WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont8.)

[SteveLW]

So I've been thinking that I'm doing pretty good. And I believe I have been.

For the first time in a long time, today is a tougher day. I think its a combination of things. I was dating a woman and we had a good argument - it probably makes sense for that to end and for me to take a break. At work I had a meeting that I just did not perform well in, in front of peers - it made me feel my lack of capacity in my mental state.

Last Friday I went over the property settlement with my attorney and we've been talking about that a lot since to get it right.

I then went through an old folder, looking for old statements and it had so much in there. Pictures of the family, cards from her and the kids, as well as cards from colleague's over the years - it all made me feel a bit melancholy and sad.

The good news is that because of this message board I can look back at the last time I felt like this and it was 3/10 - so that's a pretty good run. I'll get through it and hopefully it won't last more than a day.

I also recognize that I've been running myself ragged staying busy, I haven't allowed myself much time to process things. My parents are back from their winter home so they are local and give me another layer of support if I need it, which is good.

It's all interesting. I'll keep on keeping on.

A goal for me was to always double the amount of time between feeling like this. If the last time was a day ago, then I would focus on making it two days. Then 4, then 8. The emotional rollercoaster is rarely through with us even when we are through with it. Songs were always big trigger for me. In fact, there are songs to this day that if they come on the radio I turn the station because they make me think of the ex-gf and bring back emotional scars. Maybe that means that after 22 years+ being married to another woman, one that I want to grow old with, I am still not completely emotionally detached to the ex-gf. IDK, but you have to do what you have to do to get through!

Staying busy is actually a positive, but I get the need to step back a bit and reflect. Though I think that if you thought about it you still have plenty of time in staying busy to reflect. In the shower. Mowing the lawn. On a drive some where. Etc. So stay busy but take the opportunities when you are alone to reflect and process. I submit that you went from 3/10 to today without the melancholy BECAUSE you've stayed busy. Again, that is a good thing.

Just keep on keeping on, as you said!