Omigosh, Steve_!, instead of working on your co-dependence and learning to be happy as an individual, you’re bringing a new woman into your chaos. If she’s a good woman, why not give yourself and her the gift of NC for 4 months and working hard on your co-dependence issues we’ve all noted, and then date her?
You may have the scarcity mindset I used to have that a high-value partner will be snapped up quickly—act fast! Actually, high-value people are not in a hurry to commit to anyone unless they’re a great fit for our lives. They have options. Also, I think the stats were 20% of singles over 30 have secure attachment styles. Most dates may not be good choices, but your odds are high of a decent match within 10-20 dates.
I bet you’ll dive in and repeat your rollercoaster. I hope not. It’s suspicious that a high-value person wouldn’t detect your anxiety/co-dependence and suggest a pause or move on. Keep in mind that even though 20% have secure attachment styles, those who are anxious tend to attract and choose the other types.
