Yeah I still have the IC through the VA. I got another appointment coming up this Friday. I did stop the anti-depressants though. They cause me some serious excess sweating and weight gain and I have been pretty well stable for a few months as far as dealing with everything.
The Stbxw and I have reached a point where we are just friends. She asked me to come paint the room at her moms for my daughter and I agreed. I want to do those things for my daughter still. And tbh I felt it would help sort of make peace with the Stbxw. She talked about how after I finished the paperwork she got surprised and sad and made the mistake of running right back to OM she left me for. Apparently he has been holding his promise up to stay out of it until I signed. Then they started messing around again. And it was hard for her to tell me that because she knows the kids would hate her guts for that. I did tell her I had been talking to someone else as well. She was excited and wanted to know more information. I told her that it is not serious that she is just a friend and that we had only met a couple times. The stbxw asked me not to bring her around the kids for at least 3 months, which I told her “of course” and she said “I learned my lesson there” and she proceeded to tell me she wants me to be happy, she hopes I don’t bad mouth her to this girl so that they can be friends, and that she hopes she is good with kids and etc etc etc.
I do plan on slowly going forward with this girl and seeing what is there. She is a really good person and has a strong faith based approach on her life. We have been really good friends for a couple months over the phone. I did tell stbxw that I respected her choice when she ran off with OM and didn’t do anything crazy to bother him/her and I would appreciate if she would also give me that respect. I let her know that there is really no more need for the games and I deserve to move on and find happiness and she needs to respect that.
She agreed and seemed excited for me, a lot of the anger in her face sort of changed. She teared up and apologized for the games she had played with me. It seems like her only goal now is to be friends, love her single party life and I’m okay with that. I asked her to please make good choices for the kids and she promised to.
But I do not trust her, not even a little. So I gave her next to no info about ow. So she cannot do anything to mess it up and tbh ow is not even a thing yet, she is just someone that I want to see if anything is there because when I was not looking for anyone she kinda fell out of the sky and has been super good to me and for me. I would be a fool to ignore it. I’ve had opportunities to see other women as I’ve gone out a few times but nobody special. Nothing I wanted to get into especially during this process. This girl is different and deserves a shot. So I wanted to make sure everything with stbxw was ironed out before I even get involved. I wanted to do this the right way and not as some game or rebound or whatever people do just in case over time this ow turns out to be more than a friend.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
