One afternoon after giving my SO oral sex I put his hand on my breasts, and he pulls his hand away. I tell him that I wanted him to help me get off too. He says no. I get upset and ask him how come. He tells me that after he orgasms he is not interested in sex anymore. He said that all men are like that.
What I want to know is are all men really like this or is it just BS that he's giving me?
Also, what should I really believe about how he feels about me? His actions or his words?
After sex or getting off the sex drive goes way down. Almost to the point of not wanting to do it anymore. If I had a woman that was willing to take care of my needs orally before she had hers I would have no problem helping her out. It might take a couple of minutes to get back into it but that is all.
Oh...my SO doesn't want to do anything after he's done...but he has told me that if he was using porn he would be able to orgasm and do it more times than he can with me...hm...
I find his attitude both very selfish and extremely insulting. As a man, I consider it not just my responsibility but my pleasure to make sure my partner is no less satisfied than I am and more so if I can make that happen for her. What he essentially told you wasa that you're less stimulating and satisfying than porn. Still, that doesn't stop him from using you for his own pleasure.
I'm a man, and I'm not like that, so what he's saying is obviously BS of the highest order, and highly offensive to boot. I've read your other posts about him, and my opinion of him is not increased by this post. I really do feel you'd be way better off without him.
As for what you should believe, there's a VERY old saying that "Actions speak louder than words", and it's VERY true. "Listen" to his actions, ignore his words. He is a liar and a cheat. He will tell you what he thinks you want to hear, and whatever will get him what he wants. He's a leech.
I don't think it's any different for men than for women. I think most people prefer being second. It's just one of those things reasonable people negotiate in a reasonable way in the context of an encounter or a series of encounters. It sounds like your SO is being unreasonable and rude.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: What I want to know is are all men really like this or is it just BS that he's giving me?
By "like that", do you mean selfish? Frankly, lots of men, probably the majority are, but that's not a good excuse.
Or do you mean that most men lose interest in sex after orgasm? That varies a lot, I suspect. I lose the great urgency for sex, but hey, it doesn't take much to rekindle interest. Unless I'm really tired and it's late, then I fall asleep right afterward.
So some men lose all interest in sex after they orgasm...
I asked my SO if he knows that that's what happens to him, why does he not try to satisfy me first so I can orgasm too? I don't think I'm asking too much. I don't ask him to give me oral sex or to do all kinds of positions. I ask for him to touch me with his hands and he still can't do that. He doesn't even have to kiss me.
How come I can get so turned on by him and he can't by me? How can he tell me that he really loves me when he doesn't seem to be attracted to me?
Corri, I think I'm to the point that I'm scared to leave...I don't know how I got here, but I have. I love my SO, but I know this is not good situation. Especially when he's not willing to be open to me.
