Brave Little Gerda Knows More Now

[Elbereth]

Thank you Gerda for this whole thread and the other posters who contributed. I am inspired by your strength and as a newer LBS, your words are like gold to me. Yes, at first, I was taken aback and very defensive on my actions. But even if you feel many of us LBS's don't listen, there are many of us that do hear you...even if we don't want to believe what we are being told. I've had periods of time where I have marinated on different thoughts and couldn't really write here. Stuck. Processing. Searching my soul. Trying to absorb the knowledge, the experience, the path that many of you have taken before me. Maybe I'm strong like some say and I saw the better path quicker than most. But to all, it's in their own time...not everyone can face struggles so fiercely...some take time to gather strength and acceptance before they can even think about the thoughts that are uncomfortable.

I'm grateful though that many of you show so much patience and gentle guidance. It's true. Going through this journey does create PSTD. And the fact that its not just one event makes it harder to process...living day in and day out trying to move forward, change things, accept things or let things go. All while more bomb drops, or terrible situations happen. I feel like it's almost multiple episodes of trauma...of which many are not strong enough to handle and shut down. It's overwhelming at times...

But the stories, the support, the advice, the experience, the gentle 2x4s, all of it...are gifts to us. Golden gifts. From strangers who are friends...and a lifeline to many of us. I am so sorry for your difficult journey. I wish I could hug you. But I can tell you that I am eternally grateful that I have you all to listen to and guide me. That we are not alone and that WE will all be okay. I know I couldn't be on this journey without everyone here. I hope watching us take your advice and move through our journeys faster/better helps you to be stronger in your journey as it continues. We are learning from you. You are GOLDEN. Thank you! (((Gerda)))

El