Steve_'s Journey forward

[LH19]

Boy for someone who wasn't going to say anymore you had a lot to say.

Yes I am not over my WW but I know I cannot be with her and I accept it. And something really nice happened yesterday.

Steve my best guess is that it will likely take you 3-5 years to get over her.

WW messaged me “I know you hate me but my kids haven’t called or anything today and it’s Mother’s Day and it’s hard for me”

Proper response: This is hard on everyone

I responded “I don’t hate you, we did go get you a card and a flower, I know you are at work so that’s why, but if you have time feel free to call the kids”

See above

So I said “finishing that divorce last week was the hardest thing I ever did, but I had to because what I want and deserve you cannot give me. I do love you and I always will but I don’t have 2-3 years to wait while you have other men come and go in your life, I need commitment, honestly, loyalty and integrity”

Illusion of action. I need to do or say the right thing to change her mind.

She said “I have been crying a lot, I didn’t think you would ever file it, it hurt me very bad when you did”

WW Translation: Nice try Steve I know I can have you back with a snap of my fingers

I told her “I had to, for me, because I deserve better than this”

Illusion of action. I need to do or say the right thing to change her mind.

She responded “I know, and you do, it’s just hard to see Steven give up, I never thought you would”

WW translation: Steve who are you kidding. You haven't given up.

I told her “we were always close, best friends, maybe one day god will fix us but not anytime soon and I see that, that’s why I did it”

Illusion of action. I need to do or say the right thing to change her mind.

She said “I know in time I can be good, I can give you those things, but right now I cannot, and I just wanted you to hang in there and give me time”

WW translation: I need more time to lineup your replacement

I said “I did for 7 months, and if that was not enough I’m afraid nothing ever will be, I told her also, it’s okay, I’m not mad, go be free, go be beautiful, but please make good choices in your partner for the children, they have been through a lot, the greatest gift I could have offered you as your husband is to let you go, you wanted to be free and now you are so just consider the kids when you make choices that effect them please”

Illusion of action. I need to do or say the right thing to change her mind.

She said “thank you so much” and admitted to going on a date last night but not feeling good about it because the kids are still really upset she left me to begin with and she doesn’t want to hurt them again.

Of course she was on a date last night!

I just ended things with “happy Mother’s Day from the bottom of my heart and I hope you will reach out if the children need anything.

Illusion of action. I need to do or say the right thing to change her mind.

She responded with crying emojis and said thank you, that she was sorry for everything, and that she hopes some day things will change

Maybe a hint of sincerity in this staement.

I feel like this convo was not necessary but there was this animosity about the D that I feel is ironed out. Her tone went from anger to sadness and then just a friendly manner during the convo. As much as it pains me to hear she is dating I know that’s what she wanted and I wanted to make my peace with her over that. I know eventually I will find a partner when god intends that for me. For now I move forward.

Definitely not necessary.

Today I go and pick up my associates degree in nursing from the school. I’m happy to have that done, soon I will do my bridge program to RN and then go back to the school where I got my previous bachelors and get my bachelors in nursing done. I have really attainable goals and I can see myself living a life without WW. A happy life. And I prayed for that for a long time.

You most certainly can Steve. No more setbacks.