Quiet morning at home. Kids are at their dad’s and I’m planning out my week. Only three weeks until my move so time is ticking away. Yesterday was a day for reflection. I got news that a woman I was friends with in high school passed away. I read a Facebook post she had written on Wednesday that she was heading to the hospital for an angiogram the following day and was scared...hoping nothing had changed. I sent her some words of encouragement and that I hoped she got good news. Apparently she went into cardiac arrest when she was there and they restarted her heart but then took her off life support the following morning. And that was it...leaving a husband and a 14 year-old son behind. Really makes you think about how precious life is and how we really shouldn’t waste time trying to control the things we can’t control. Just live and try to get the most out of every day we are here.
This led to me sitting out on my back deck last night staring out at the view and reflecting on the last few years. As I prepare myself to leave my “forever home”, there is lots to think about. My backyard is starting to look a lot different. XH has been over here planting fruit trees with his mom. He brought the contract of sale over for me to sign and I remarked on the changes. “What are you...a farmer now??” He kind of laughed and said “yeah”. “WTF?!? I couldn’t even get you to mow the lawn!!!” Apparently he only likes to look after plants that he can eat so OW’s son is going to have to mow...lol.
My sister and I talked about it yesterday. She spent a little bit of time with XH and OW and says their dynamic is completely different than our was. OW is much quieter and seems to just go with what XH wants. “I hate to say it DV but I think they are probably a good match.” Yeah... I’ve been thinking that myself...or at least that he and I were not. I have a strong personality. I need someone who will straight up tell me what he is thinking or what he wants and not just go along with everything and then quietly resent me for it. That just poisons a partnership. I also need to relax a bit more and not try to make things “perfect”. Been working on that one a lot.
Watching the ferry come in and staring out at the ocean, I realized that I have made it. This is what I was striving for. Forgiveness... it is such a relief to just be okay with all of it. There is a touch of sadness leaving here but also a lot of excitement with everything that is to come.
In other news... Brook has returned to working his 12-hour shifts so I haven’t heard from him as much. A year ago that would have really bothered me but now I’m just “meh”. If we are meant to be anything other than pen pals, it will happen. If not, the universe has something else planned for me. Also... had a message from TDH last night after two weeks of NC. Just a random text telling me he was playing cards with his mom and wishing me a happy “pre-mother’s day”. I thanked him and we had a brief exchange. I still feel bad for hurting him but know I did the right thing. He probably thinks that he hasn’t heard from me because I don’t care about him. In fact, the opposite is true. I know that NC is the fastest way to get over someone so it’s for his own benefit. My contacting him would only be about making myself feel better. He’s got a good support network where he is... he’ll be fine.
Anyway...that’s the latest in DV Land. Nothing too earth shattering...lol. Getting my vaccine on the 17th...finally. Was looking at the numbers on the island and we are down to 260 active cases. One third of the island’s population has had at least their first dose of the vaccine. Everyone who wants a vaccine should have had their second dose by the end of the summer so pretty happy about that. Herd immunity is the goal!!!
