Moving On Over to Surviving the Big D

[HaWho]

Thanks Andrew and Job. Job, I think you are right and he’ll find another quick band - aid/gf or wife #3.

Boy oh boy is this just weird. My ex married his affair partner and asked my kids to keep it all secret from me. They never discussed her at all. My younger said she was nice. My older son never said much. Ex married her 9 months after our divorce. Not sure how fast he moved her in as everything is a big secret there. (Which if you’re hiding major parts of your life like this, that really speaks volumes.)

Anyway, as I just learned that marriage ended short of 6 months. S17 now has his first gf, and they’ve been “dating” for a few months now. His first high school romance is close to outlasting ex’s second marriage. LOL!!!

Anyway, kids of course were told to keep the divorce a secret from me, too. So dysfunctional. I talked to them each separately and received some bizarre answers. When I told S17 I had heard ex and his wife divorced and asked how he was doing with it all, he blew it off with a “it’s no big deal” and a shrug. I asked what happened and he said they just split. Easy come, easy go, I guess?!?! Messed up. I did tell him marriage takes time and work. It’s not something to be entered into or broken easily.

When I checked in with S15 I received a really bizarre answer. He said he was fine with it all and she was really nice. I asked what happened and he said they got along great, never fought. His dad told them he was ending it to “spare them from going through this all again”? Not sure what that meant and s15 could not or did not want to clarify. S15 did it slip that though s17 said he was ok with it all, he later told his dad he was not. And s15 said dad did it “for s17.” They know she was his affair partner. He did not set her up to succeed.

I did tell s 15 that people don’t divorce if things are going great and so there had to have been problems. (Otherwise we’d all be divorced on our honeymoons!) It scares me that he is drinking that Kool Aid from ex’s well. And a d in under 6 months says something went very wrong very fast. To the point that they did not bother working on it.

So concerning to have all this written into their FOO story now. I have so much anger for all my ex has written into their lives.

By the way, ex caught strep throat so something tells me he is out and about hunting for wife 3. My kids did not give it to him and he does not go into an office. With mask mandates everywhere, methinks he is on the prowl once again.

Just wanted to report how weird these people get. The secrecy is astounding; a whole life in the shadows.

I’m doing ok. Just trying to process all that was done to us and our lives.