Ruining a possible reconciliation, part 2

[mako]

NO ONE should change into something they are not in order to please ANYONE.

If someone is a "nice guy" with NGS should they not change and stay that way as long as they feel it makes them happy? If someone has anti-social tendencies should they not change? If your partner is distressed by certain behaviors of yours, should you just ignore that as long as you are happy?

Well the problem is that most people with NGS are not really all that happy if they honestly get down to it. The same is probably true for those with anti-social behavior disorders. But if you really are, and a partner has problems with the things that you do yet you are truly happy the way you are, then you have to choose how much your partner matters compared to that thing, and a lot of time it depends on how big that thing is.

People always say, if you change for someone else it's not really going to stick. If you're going to change you have to change because YOU want to. But a big thing is that it also depends on how important the thing you're changing is to you. If I give up drinking or eating meat or change my religion for my partner, and I didn't really want to, maybe I'm just going to end up resenting them. If I change my brand of socks because they hate how they look then it's probably going to be no big deal. That's a wide spectrum, and some things are big core changes that can only be changed for yourself and not for anyone else, and some things are minor. There are two parts of the quote from wayfarer: Changing "(1) into something they are not (2) in order to please ANYONE" else. (1) seems more like it's addressing the big stuff, and I agree no one should change the big stuff for someone else, because it just doesn't work out if you aren't on board with it yourself. And if you're on board, you may be changing into someone you are not, but then (2) it WON'T be in order to please someone else. So basically, don't make huge changes for someone else that you aren't on board with. I agree.