A year on and standing 2

[ToSmile]

Hi Steve,

Yes the looking forward part. Recently I do feel myself much more happier and lighter when I take that approach. It was also really the sharing by you & LH that really hit the spot and made me see some light.

I am thinking that although I am good at planning, it also seems that I am trying to ensure everything falls into my plan and that is also the need to control. I may think that I am doing it for the good of everyone but in fact it's more like for me.

So I let go. I start to embrace uncertainty, the unknown. I take it easier on myself. Accepting the thoughts that hey, it might not be that bad after all for the children even if we split. I know for sure my finance situation will improve, I will have more freedom, I don't need to be accountable to her standards, nor do I need to be concern about what I like to do which she does not approve of previously, I would not need to consider for her feelings and best of all, I would not need to face that long pulling / disapproving face at me.

In fact, thanks to her, I do also feel that any random opposite gender stranger shows more kindness to me than she does. It may be also due to that she was so insecure that I actually refrain from mingling much with friends of the opposite sex and with my experience, I shut off. Maybe this is the part LH mentioned about that my view of withdrawing from another commitment will change overtime. If I start to accept it and move on from here.