Hope for men

[Traveler]

Hi Shotgun,

Sure. I didn't read kml's or LH's response because I wanted this to begin with 100% my perspective.

Naturally she got the lion's share of the assets and custody of our son but who's counting.

From a dating perspective, knowing courts grant 50/50 to anyone who asks unless there are glaring reasons not to, a yellow flag goes up whenever a potential date has less than 50/50 custody.

Not sure how unique my story is but I did battle cancer, divorce and a career change at the same moment.

That's a ton to deal with. I only had 2 of 3, and it was quite the change!

at fifty-four years old I am as strong as I have ever been.

Yay!

Dating sites are pretty much a cesspool of unhealthy and broken people.

"Cesspool" seems a bit strong. Statistically, only 20% of singles over 40 have a secure attachment style so yes you will have to go on 5-10 dates to find an emotionally healthy partner.

Few ever look like their profile pictures.

My experience--2011-2017--most women were 15# heavier and most men were 2" shorter than claimed (or so my dates said). Exaggeration was common. Gross lies were uncommon. If you're in-demand you can compensate by only dating people who are a step up from your "minimum". That may be wise, anyway, if you want a life partner you keep even if they gain 30# and stretch marks.

The self evaluations and descriptions are often delusional.

Delusional?! You sound bitter, shotgun. My BMI is 25-30--I could either describe that as "Average" (the median for my age) or "Overweight" (BMI 25-30). I know which word I'd choose if I had to choose one for my dating profile.

I find dating in the real world to be a little different. Probably much more honest.

Well, when I ask someone out online I know to a degree whether we are compatible when it comes to age, goals, kids, jobs, politics, exercise, travel, drugs, etc.. Offline, I know if I'm attracted. (:

Women of all ages show interest.

That could be creepy!

I have decided that raising another two year old is not a good fit for me. Yes a hot young lady is fun but I only get the part left over after she takes care of her kids, job, chores etc.

I have my own life and they only get me after mine, too! Unless they want to share in my chores. Attn dating site ladies--if you like to garden, have at my rose bushes or lawn. Note, this offer stands even if we don't date.

.....Frankly few women post forties have taken care of themselves. We are all aging but obesity

According to a 2012 CDC Study, 38.3% of women and 38.1% of men 45-54 are obese. So, roughly 2/3rds of women are NOT obese, but the odds are very slightly against you. Now, if you're looking for fit partners, good news for you shotgun. Only 20% of men in that demographic were at a healthy weight, whereas 27.3% of women were. The odds are ever in your favor.

/sloth and bad hair are choices.

Prioritizations. I just matched with someone who keeps a neat house but went nowhere this past year. Boring. I went on probably 20 trips but my house is a mess. Note to self: Go clean my car!!