Excellent response. You seem to be doing a good job of being a father through this difficult period. I applaud that! That is about all you can do at this point.
I don't necessarily like the waiting for her to bring it up again for you to move the D forward. But in this case I will take it. I do not expect that it will take long, based on her behavior at the family dinner. I think she felt completely uncomfortable with the façade of the happy family considering she has made it abundantly clear that she wants out. I get what you said about her excusing herself in the past, but likely her guilt at what this is doing to the kids made her agree to attend this time. But likely she will want to avoid being in that situation again in the future. And will raise the issue of D again.
ToSmile, some of the best advice I got in my sitch, and apologies if you already have heard this, is that the WAS is just trying to be happy. She doesn't know how to find that happiness, all she knows is that being in the marriage isn't making her happy. So she will continue to try to find her way out of the marriage, even if she is too lazy to push it forward herself. (We've already been over that last part.)
Again, I know this is hard. I feel for you. I know that if you could you would snap your fingers and make this all go away. But the sooner you turn your face towards the sun, and move forward with your life, the better off you and your kids will be for it! I know that they would prefer that you stay together, but I think deep down they know that if the relationship cannot be made whole, that it is better for you and them to move forward. The current state is not their wish, being in a home with a loving, happy, mom and dad that love each other as well as them is really what they want. Unfortunately, that is out of your power to give them.
You got this ToSmile! Onward and upward!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
