I think you asked him to lunch as a last ditch Hail Mary so to speak. I think you were hoping going to court would wake him up and he wouldn’t want to get divorced and seeing you immediately afterwards might be the push to get him to come back. There’s no other reasonable explanation. You said you don’t wanna be friends, so that’s not the angle. You didn’t need to do any of that to maintain dignity or grace, so it can’t be that either.
I can tell you with 100% certainty I did not expect court to get H to change his mind. This WHOLE court thing P*SSES him off. And, when my H is P*SSED off there is zero chance in expecting him to do anything.
I think I genuinely felt bad about him driving 2 hr to only be told its been postponed was a sh*tty thing to have to deal with.
I have no doubt I have nice girl syndrome...
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My question is solely this....why can’t you be single? You are still trying to get your H to come back while missing the pilot whom you can’t forget months later after a few dates. I think you have codependency issues.
I am single. I told the men I had been dating that I'm taking time to focus on myself and getting this D done. This happened over a month ago. I'm not on any dating sites and haven't been.
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You have justified being abused, justified your behavior with pilot, justified really everything that holds you back, and refuse to get professional help. Do you believe there is a some stigma to it? Like is someone or yourself going to call you crazy?
I was 100% honest in being stuck because I understand what limerance is... Its a complete disconnect between the brain and the heart. Its completely normal... it happens. My logic brain has to keep working with my emotional brain that its not real... its just solely because I can't have it.
Maybe my frankness and honesty may help someone else out who is dealing with the same stuff.
I'm coherent and take it for what it is (or more appropriately what it is not). I wrote it out in my post realizing that it was an issue... and I'm admitting it freely that being stuck was an issue in me that needed to be sorted in me.
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You need professional help. You really do and that’s not a bad thing. I’m so sorry you seem to think it is. Most people don’t have a bad experience and quit all together the way you have therapy. And it’s only hurting you while everyone else is moving on in your life.
Well did you suddenly go to school and get that degree???
I 100% admit I'm terribly stubborn. I had such a severe vaccine reaction that my entire body HURT. I was unable to stand OR walk with an elevated heart rate and blinding headache for over 36hr. I know I should have gone to the ER. I did not... I felt that I had it under control and my respiratory rate was normal. I set goals... If I am not the LEAST bit better by X hours... I will go. I met the goals I set and did not go the ER. In 48hr my life was starting to look like my life again.
I'm doing the work... trust me. Books on this... books on that... books that I have to put down and walk away because digesting the information is painful and I have to do it in small doses... many books on X because I realize I'm not seeing the answer I want to see and that does sadden me but it is what it is.
Healing is not linear. My journey is not your journey. I distinctly recall others telling you not to date... and you coming up with all kinds of reasons why you felt it was fine... so were you single the entire time?
I know where I struggle because I freely put it out there.
