Sure, some people in this age group are still single because they’re broken. Almost everyone has baggage. You do too (acrimonious divorce, child, cancer history). Online dating is no better or worse a way to meet people. I liked it because A) I could meet a lot more available people than I would in my offline life and B) I could prescreen them for certain obvious incompatibilities.
But it shouldn’t be called online dating but online meeting - you should move quickly to a no pressure coffee date before investing too much time online.
I too was not interested in dating someone who was still raising small children as mine were grown. I dated some very handsome men but handsome is as handsome does. Most men looked like their pictures (the ones using obviously much younger pics were easy to spot). Sense of humor and shared values are more important to me than looks. (Good in bed helps too!) Odds are you’re not aging quite as well as you think either - numerous studies show men have inflated ideas of their attractiveness. (OkCupid did studies in this). Many men who literally looked like Santa Claus contacted me.
I also had young men pursuing me but there’s no future in that. Most of the men I have dated since my divorce have been younger, but by 4-9 years. Only one was 2 years older. This was not deliberate.
There’s no guarantees in life. A woman could pick you for your apparent healthiness and you could die of a sudden heart attack. My current boyfriend was a nonsmoker who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer three months after we started dating.
Also, my experience has been that none of the men I dated had their financial act together. Show me a man who lives within his means and has planned for retirement and I’ll be impressed. He doesn’t have to have a ton of money - rich people overspend and get in debt too. Just needs to have his act together. Apparently men my age who have their act together date younger?
When I was first divorced I would have said I was looking for a life partner. Not so sure now. Current boyfriend lives with me but honestly, if he wasn’t sick, I’d rather he had his own place. I enjoy being in a monogamous relationship but also like my space.
Take your time. Get to know your dates. Don’t get fooled by the flash - that woman desperately trying to look young and hot might not be self-confident or spiritual. And any adult woman your age who wants to leap into “love” is probably not the one you want either. Infatuation feels great but it’s not enough to build a life on by itself, and anyone over 40 should know that.
And learn from Andrew’s mistake, don’t let a hoarder move into your house! Watch for red flags. It takes time to know someone.
