I will tell her I will be moving the D forward, there really is no fixing this. Not sure when exactly but soon.
That’s called an R-talk—“Look at me! I’m still attached despite 7 affairs. Act fast! Pressure pressure.” . When you’re ready to move on, you’ll take the action of initiating D, rather than initiate yet another R talk.
Originally Posted by Steve
I visited my grandmother’s grave and sort of unloaded all the stuff that has happened on her.
Thats great—working out some feelings. A key difference between venting to her vs. a therapist is a therapist will ask questions and challenge your thought errors. This is very positive, though, Steve. Great stuff!
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She told me recently she got a new job, bar tending at a night club....so she will be working weeknights there..
For you, this is a legal job, that’s great! Her illegal job that you knew but didn’t name or report could have put your custody in jeopardy. For her, this allows her to combine working and meeting men. Like most changes, there are pros and cons, things to celebrate and things to lament.
Originally Posted by Steve
There will be someone who loves me totally out there one day.
Do you realize, that someone is you? Steve, you have a long way to get there, but you’re like a doormat to your STBXW only because you accept that treatment. Most of us would not accept her treatment. If you fix that, you will either be happily single or more likely find a partner who treats you well.
