UGH... I don't want to be friends... but that is the lot I have created for myself.
Randomly Tuesday my STBXH texts me his new work email... Several hours later I just replied "ok thanks". The strange part is that he gave me his new work email address in January and we had a long discussion about the fact that they've partnered with a French company. I did not bring that up... I just rolled with it and moved on.
Wednesday was court. I thought he might contact prior to coming to town because he has done that before. I never intended on being there - I've got an atty.
Well 10min after court was supposed to have started I get a text from H "well that was pointless".
I just assumed that he drove an hour each way for a 10min court update. I don't know why but I called. He answered and it was then I found out that it was continued ---- apparently my atty is out due to death in family. I had NO idea and I said as such. If I had any idea I would have contacted him to prevent the unneeded trip. Seriously, my atty's assistant didn't even bother to email me or call. I felt bad. He said my atty was really dumb... I just agreed... I pay her to be the bad guy.
Then the next thing out of my mouth surprised me "are you hungry? do you want to get lunch?"... STBXH replied "I"m tired"... So I immediately say "well ok"... thinking whew I'm off the hook but STBXH follows up with "what did you have in mind". I said X or Y. He picked X and I met him there.
He was exhausted. He immediately asked me about work - stated I've been amazingly busy. We are up $30k this month from last year. I commented on his Harley Davidson Hawaiian shirt... he talked about running into a guy he hung out with on the island 25yr ago. He pulled out his phone and asked if S19 could fix the shattered camera. I said he should and I took a picture of the damage and texted S19 who then texted back 2 options for fix. When I told him the first option was $10 he couldn't hear me - so I looked directly at him, spoke slower and a tad louder. BOY, his hearing has gotten worse! He was surprised about the fix and had more questions. Frankly, I wish he would have just contacted S19 himself instead of making me the go between. But, I get it... shame and guilt. . There was lots of conversation. I asked if he was sleeping ok - he looked like crap and admitted they are not working 12's right now as they are down to 1/3 capacity. He said - No. Oh? He bought a house is a busy neighborhood in the middle of a bad area of town with an automotive shop across the street... neighbors have loud kids AND he's a day sleeper. Hmmm... just listened. Validated that was rough. Seriously, he griped and complained about how I live in a HOA and how stiffling it is to him. My lot is also wooded so there was no area for a garden here (but I helped him with his plots at the community garden.) I can guarantee its a whole lot quieter here than where he currently lives. Its so weird because I pictured him getting a home in the country... not in the middle of town.
He went on to say that he needed to get a white noise machine. I bought him one years ago to help counteract some of the routine day noise in the house... its still here. I didn't offer it... just said... hmmm...
He paid for lunch and when we walked out I started to go in the opposite direction and stated I had to go pay for the carpet I'm buying... oh, your getting carpet? Uhm, yes. AGAIN what I didn't say is that we talked a lot about this as I'm ripping up flooring when he dropped off the dog for his 2 weeks stay.
^^^That's all further proof that he is not interested in the conversations we do have... he forgets them. But I've known for years that he has serious memory issues when he is tired... so it could also be exhaustion. Doesn't matter.
He kept wanting me to know the next court date... IDK why because I'm not going.
