Outside of reversing that order of protection and fighting for 50/50 custody, personally, I’d work on de-escalating every r you have right now; simplifying everything in an attempt to create moments that are more positive than negative, or at least neutral.

For d that means even if you get 50/50 you don’t pursue her, call cops to get her if she won’t come, etc. Instead send her cute videos on Instagram (if you are linked to her there) or text. As KML said, she’s a teen, so this is how to reach her. I’d say take a break from discussing the r. Know that all those convos can be used in court and pressuring is not viewed well by judges. Lighten it all because right now she is bonded to her mom. And there is just way too much going on in these kids’ lives from both you and your ex.

For your s that means time alone with him without gf, lots of time alone without her. And hopefully that gets back to d so that she learns she and her brother are a priority outside of this new life that’s been thrown at them.

I suspect this time alone may bother gf. But it is better for you all plus her and her new baby if the house is in better order and hopefully see realizes that.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced