Hopefully Drifting Ashore (Riding the Wave 4)

[Elbereth]

Hi Wayfarer,

I'm so glad things are progressing well! It's inspiring to your progress and this part really resonated with me

I don't feel like harboring that resentment and hurt is worth it for the peace any more. I feel like asserting my boundaries for my own personal peace is worth more. Had I really understood how much my exH had me programmed to do the utmost to keep the peace I think I would've waited longer to date again after. I think I would've waited longer to get serious with some one too. I'm not the kind of girl to be trampled on, but basically going from my step-father to my exH I lost a lot of who I was, and ate more than my share of sh!t sandwiches to keep the peace. I don't ever want to go back to that version of my self again. And I think being here really helped bring me along on that realization and that journey.

I think I've been trying to do the same since BD, and finding my voice and setting boundaries is something I am working very hard at...and will definitely act differently in my next relationship. For me, holding in the hurt and resentment just festered and didn't fix anything. And it certainly made me feel awful. No one should have to take in any more sh!t sandwiches then is absolutely necessary! It's refreshing that your H is listening and respecting you!

(((hugs)))