Mako I certainly do not want to rain on your parade and these are all good signs on your quest for reconciliation. I have some comments and then questions in the end.

Originally Posted by mako
She has done some things that indicate she is seeing a future together. She went and bought a bunch of seeds and plants, so the plans for the garden I mentioned above are coming true. She finally set up her home office, she had kind of just been working at a table but she moved a bunch of things and made a more permanent set up. She has a work conference in the fall and she asked me if I wanted to go with her. This may seem like nothing but she had one a year ago and she made no such offer. Another symbolic thing is I noticed her wearing her ring today. I can't recall the last time I saw that, she had it off long before BD.

None of this means anything. I truly believe for the time being she believes she is back in.

Originally Posted by mako
She had said that she wanted to take things slow because we had been lacking intimacy for so long, and I have tried to stick to that, but we have also hugged and cuddled more in about 5 days than we had in probably 2 years. These have largely been initiated by me, but not solely.

IMO This needs to be the other way around where the majority of it is initiated by her. This is all about attraction and if she feels it she will initiate.

Originally Posted by mako
So again, I remain cautious, but for now things seem to be going well.


If you engage in a relationship with her again it should only be under the conditions that:

1) She sees you as someone of extremely high value
2) She views a relationship with you as something much better than a life with someone else or a life alone
3) She's willing to work to win you

Without those three things, she's going to walk again down the line, because she really doesn't have the motivation to work with you to change anything, your relationship will keep seeking the same equilibrium it has had because of how your personalities and issues come together.

So my question is do you believe she is working to win you? Do you think you are taking her back to easy? What are your boundaries moving forward? Will she get IC? Will you do MC? Will you be open with your phones?

I ask these questions because I went through a false recon that sounds a lot like your situation in which my Exw's EA went south on her. These things do not typically turn around over night.