We talked on the phone for about an hour one night. Just mundane stuff mostly, but that was nice. Not something we had really done for a long time in the MR.
How did she "Feel" after this conversation? Most guys do not understand the importance about a woman's "Feelings" that happen during an interaction.
Do you understand her better after the conversation?
This is true, that I have to be in tune with how she is feeling. I don't think I've ever been great with my intuition, I will just need to pay attention and try to do better at that.
So last Wednesday she came out of quarantining. Since then we have been getting along great. Things have been busy because the little kids have been stuck at home until tomorrow due to the positive test in the family. But we have been hanging out and having a good time together. We are working well together parenting. We have both been around the house for the most part, though I got out to take S9 kayaking the other morning. She is still easily tired, though that's improving.
She has done some things that indicate she is seeing a future together. She went and bought a bunch of seeds and plants, so the plans for the garden I mentioned above are coming true. She finally set up her home office, she had kind of just been working at a table but she moved a bunch of things and made a more permanent set up. She has a work conference in the fall and she asked me if I wanted to go with her. This may seem like nothing but she had one a year ago and she made no such offer. Another symbolic thing is I noticed her wearing her ring today. I can't recall the last time I saw that, she had it off long before BD.
I have tried to walk the fine line between not wanting to push her away, and the idea that giving her affection would be my greatest and eventually most important 180. Keep in mind we were not merely a SSM, we were an affection starved marriage. She had said that she wanted to take things slow because we had been lacking intimacy for so long, and I have tried to stick to that, but we have also hugged and cuddled more in about 5 days than we had in probably 2 years. These have largely been initiated by me, but not solely. We have also had a couple pretty minor R talks where she brought up some things that had bugged her previously that I was unaware of, mostly about areas where she thought I was too controlling, I could see her point and mostly just validated. Other than that I think we are just taking it a day at a time.
So again, I remain cautious, but for now things seem to be going well.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
