I will ask D3 who she wants to be there. Simultaneously I am almost certain XW won’t want specific ppl to come. My parents for instance. Certain friends will also make her very uncomfortable.
Sounds complicated. She's not your W, so you don't have to negotiate so much.
I celebrate my D's birthday at my house in the way and with the guests I and D want, my XW celebrates D's birthday at her house in the way and with the guests she and D wants. Our custody schedule alternates who holds the "public" party each year--so friends don't have to choose sides.
XW hasn't entered my home since D. It's me and my kids' home, not some shared home.
