WW: "I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty"

[BL42]

Drh2001,

Last year when WW was in an in-house separation with me (she is now living with OM) one of the things I would hear her say was "I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty" whenever I told her what she was doing was wrong.

I imagine they have to make it about you, not self-reflecting, otherwise they'd hate themselves too much.

How long is a WW able to live this delusional fantasy without feeling anything?

Maybe never?

You are never going to be able to make sense of it all. Don’t not waste another minute trying. Decide how you want to live the rest of your life.

I've heard that one from one friend of mine as recently as this weekend! Guess I'm too analytical. Do agree it's best to not dwell at this point, and move one.

When I was a WAH, after leaving my ex-wife, I questioned every value I'd been following, because they led me where I was. In my pursuit of happiness, I adopted a more minimal code of ethics--experimentation, metamorphosis to find self-fulfillment is more apt than downgrade--but some actions were wrong. It took years to rebuild my values system. My values now look little like pre-BD or post-BD.

CWarrior - Just curious mostly...did you ever have doubt or regrets about being a WAH?