I wish that grey rock was more effective with him! For example, when he refused to handover S3 at the kerb, I just met him at the door and said nothing. When he told me he was keeping him overnight, I didn’t respond. When he told me he was bringing him back late, I didn’t respond. It’s almost like he takes my withdrawal and protective barriers around myself as a personal attack. My coolness pokes his conscience, perhaps. I have this constant low level fear that he will escalate and involve S3 to provoke some kind of reaction because it does takes a lot to make me engage nowadays. My communications are brief, professional, and breezy. I use respectful but firm language. I can usually pick when he gets triggered— it’s when I refuse to go along with something, or hold him accountable to a prior agreement. For example, the thing that triggered the ‘kidnapping’ last year was me simply saying no to the last minute unscheduled sleepover he wanted. He even said so when we had that argument about it on the phone— “You wouldn’t let me have him, so I had to take him.” I don’t think that fear will ever completely leave me, to be honest.
