I'm with May and Wayfarer generally on this topic. I know I have changed and grown. So I have faith that all of us can. Even as I question my own H's character, I dwell on if he's who he is right now due to manifestations of fear of vulnerability or something else that his soul struggles with? We all are multi-faceted. We can all do bad things. I know I am not perfect. All of our paths are different and I think we all act and react in ways that even confuse ourselves, let alone others. I want to be open to forgiveness even if I struggle with it with my H. I can see why this conversation with your friend brought up the feelings it did for you May. I admire your support and care with your friend and her husband.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.