I'll throw something out there that probably sounds crazy.
What if you told your ex-wife, "I get you are closer to D. I get D isn't excited to come over here. We both love D. I know we've had differences. I'd so appreciate any suggestions to make these visits a success."
You aren't admitting anything. You aren't agreeing to anything. You are soliciting her thoughts. Given you said you're letting her custody violations slide in court, she is in a power position.
