The portion you pointed out on the controlling her like a child resonated with me. I had read in another marriage help book that mentioned about setting boundary and treating her like a rebel teenage daughter. That is exactly what I am doing and subconsciously is controlling without letting go. Treating her like a grown woman that regressed into a teenager in order to make sense of the current situation to stay sane all this while. Thus it affects me when things "does not go my way". Setting an invisible perimeter that as long as she does not step out of it, all is fine with me. But instead the perimeter should be only with me in it, if I am setting up a boundary.
True that she does teach the kids in better ways than me at other areas. But I only step in during situations when I see some stupid things gonna happen next and provide my suggestions. True that it could also be an opportunity for the kids to learn themselves but I just feel it's kinda unfair for them to perform something to expectation without even communicating / demonstrating to them how to do it then reprimand them for it.
Well I monitored my children happiness through checking with them on how they are feeling frequently in terms of at home / school / friends and what they look forward to etc. Anything troubling them, any concerns and also try to get feedback from the counsellors how the kids feel about the family dynamics, are they comfortable around with us, trust us, do they think they can talk to us about their feelings etc. Thus ask far if they do not sound out any special concern and are feeling positive and happy, I guess that's should be good for them.
Next couple of years may be tough. I am not very sure. I am living a day a time now trying to improve myself through exercising, diverting my thoughts elsewhere and focus on the kids. Steve, you mentioned you been there. How did it end out for you?
M:38 W:38 T:14 M: 12 S:9 S:6 BD: 07/18 W Moved out: 5/19 W Moved in: 7/19 D draft received: 12/19
